Adoption

When considering adoption there are several different avenues one can take. One of the more recent trends has been looking for a child outside of the United States borders. There are children, just like in the United States, that need a home. This is an option to consider, however, like anything there are benefits and downfalls in taking this route. One of the things to be wary of is when dealing with another country’s child, the United States government cannot get involved. You will be dealing with a foreign court on behalf of its government and the U.S. has no jurisdiction there.

Here is the good part about adopting a foreign child:

1. There are not as many children available domestically and broadening your search gives you more options. You are not limited to a certain area and can now open the search worldwide. Many people are going this route as the number of foreign adoptions has increased by three times since 1990. Too many people have been discouraged by the long wait time domestically and are looking internationally for a different path.

2. There are countries where children are in desperate need of a better future such as China and Russia. China has a population problem and has mandated rules governing how many children a family could have. This forces a family give up a child more often, which tend to be mostly girls. Russia is a downtrodden country with economic issues and families cannot afford to keep their children. By adopting these children, you are giving them a life they didn’t have the opportunity to have before. This is why these two countries are more popular than others to adopt internationally, but these should not be the only two places your search is limited to. There are children all over the world who need a loving home.

3. By adopting a foreign child, you are helping someone who would not have gotten the benefits you could offer such as a better school system, food to eat or a loving family.

Let’s look at the pitfalls to adopting internationally:

4. Money. It costs lots and lots of money to adopt a foreign child. There are adoption agencies that charge around $30,000 to get this process done because of the bureaucratic red tape that is involved. The agency is at the mercy of the other country and has to go by its policies. There are rarely instances where the U.S. is able to get involved on the behalf of the family, so if there is a falling out with the potential adoptive child, you might be out luck and money.

5. The waiting process could be longer than a domestic adoption. There also might be extensive travel involved. Prospective parents might have to spend time in the foreign country having to miss work and will need to take care of everything is involved with being away for a substantial amount of time.

Before deciding to adopt internationally, prospective parents should do research on the idea. There are many resources available on the Internet and from government and adoption agencies. Check out adoption.com and the United States State Department. Both websites offer pertinent information on foreign adoption. You might also want to call adoption agencies that specialize in foreign adoptions. Before going that route, the agency will be able to give you information and explain all the pros and cons to adopting internationally.

In the end, while it could be costly and the wait time astronomical, it will be forgotten while you are holding that beautiful child in your arms.

If you have decided to adopt, you already know that it is going to be a pricey endeavor. Adoptions are not cheap and cost anywhere from $5,000 to $40,000 and possibly more. The more expensive adoptions are usually the international adoptions. Finding enough money to fulfill this dream could prove difficult especially when you have other burdens. There are many options to consider such as personal loans or refinancing your mortgage. If you don’t have the money readily available, you can end up in debt, which is the last thing you want when you finally get a child into your home.

There are ways to relieve the problem. One of the first places to look is the North American Council on Adoptable Children. The NACAC provides help to prospective parents in the United States and Canada, and is a reliable resource. The NACAC has set up counseling for professionals to educate parents on where to find financial assistance. For more information visit the organization’s website at www.nacac.org.

There is plenty of information available at the Child Welfare Information Gateway. The government-run agency has information on public assistance, including a free downloadable packet to review. You can download the packet at www.childwelfare.gov. This is a must read.

In the United States, there are ways to help defer the cost of adoption. National and state governments offer tax credits and benefits for adopting parents. The tax credit does not cover any reimbursed money you may receive, but is applied after the reimbursement, which is still a great help. To learn more about the benefits of the program contact you local child welfare program or tax department. You could also speak to your accountant to find out what is available to you.

Check with adoption agencies about any programs it offers. Some agencies might reduce its fee if you find the birth parents on your own, but this isn’t a guarantee. Check with each agency about its rules.

If you are adopting a foster child, there are specific programs available. This is also something to consider because these fees are usually kept to a minimum and may be waived entirely. Usually the children that are placed through public agencies are children with special needs. Special needs are defined differently in each state.

Adoptive parents could be eligible to receive a grant to help offset the cost. There may be specific requirements for the adoption, so learn all you can about financial assistance for adoptions before jumping into the adoption game right away.

In addition, employees should check with their companies to see if help is available. Some companies might be willing to help ease the burden. Member of the United States military can get help and should seek it.

Another of searching for financial assistance for adoption is by using a search engine, such as Yahoo! or Google. You will get information on grants on how to defray the cost of adoption. You will also find many websites that link you to government agencies that can help.

Whatever your course, know there is financial help in adopting. You don’t have to shoulder the burden alone.

When choosing to adopt a child, the first decision a person has to make is the course to take. Should you pick an adoption agency or strive out on your own? There are advantages to looking on your own, but there are also downfalls to this as the search is more difficult this way. Using an agency makes this part of the process easier, but there are things prospective parents should know before stepping into the adoption agency’s office.

1. The first step is finding a good, reputable adoption agency. Finding an agency is difficult but there are resources available to help. There are directories available on the Internet that will lead clients to local and international adoption agencies. Search these first and try to find testimonials about the agencies. Get as many opinions about different adoption agencies as possible. It is important to know what you are getting into.

2. The next step and arguably most important thing to do is research the company you plan on dealing with. This can’t be stressed enough because you don’t want to get any rude surprises during the adoption process. Talk to former clients, call government agencies to see if there have been any reports and ask around. An adoption agency’s reputation will say a lot about them. Finding a reputable company will make the process that much easier.

3. Once you have done the research, it doesn’t get any easier. The next decision is whether to use a public or private agency. Public agencies are funded with tax money and usually focus on placing foster children (wards of the state) in permanent homes. These are usually older children who have bounced around foster homes most of their life. Private adoption agencies are run by private companies. These companies provide a wealth of services such as counseling, matching prospective children and more. However, this type of service doesn’t come cheap. Adoptions through private adoption agencies can run from a few thousand to tens of thousands of dollars.

One has to be careful though about the cost of adoption. When meeting with an agency ask about costs on all aspects. There is usually a fee to get the process started, but some companies charge extra along the way. Get the pricing up front and know what you are getting into. This is why researching companies is so important.

There are some companies that offer assistance in paying for the adoption such as staggered payments. Ask about this as well and check with local government agencies to see if there are any grants or financial assistance available.

If there is a certain type of child you want, check with different adoption agencies. There are specialty agencies out there that could suit your needs. Perhaps you want a Vietnamese baby and want to give a home to a child with a disability, there are agencies out there that specialize in these types of adoptions. They will have better insight in what needs to get done and are familiar with all the paperwork and issues that come with getting these types of children.

Finding the right adoption agency is difficult. Be well informed and take time before making a final decision on an adoption agency. It will be well worth the wait in the end.

When choosing to adopt a child, some prospective parents make the decision to partake in an international adoption. That is, they choose to adopt a child from a country other than their own. This process can be long and full of bureaucratic red tape, especially since it is a matter conducted entirely between the potential adoptive parents and a foreign court, which acts on behalf of the foreign government. The United States government cannot intervene on the parents’ behalf. There a few reasons and some benefits to this option, however.

Aside from the usual reasons for which one would choose to adopt, there are a couple of reasons why international adoption specifically may be a preference. One reason can be benevolence. The major countries from which children are adopted into the United States all have glaring social problems which drive the international adoption process. China, for example, has strict population control laws which often force Chinese parents to give their children (especially girls) up for adoption. Russia suffers from poverty to such an extent that raising a child is often not feasible. Americans who adopt children from these environments and others like them may decide that they wish to rescue a child from such circumstances and bring him or her into the home.

A second– and perhaps more substantial– reason for international adoption is the decline in availability of children for adoption in the United States. The number of adoptions which were conducted transnationally has more than tripled in the last 15 years, due largely to a decrease in potential adoptees available domestically.

The potential benefits to the adopted child are fairly obvious. She is raised in a nurturing home by people who wanted the child so badly that they went to great lengths and expense to adopt her. In nearly all cases, the child moves up in socioeconomic class after being adopted. The child may also experience educational opportunities which may not have otherwise been available. While these benefits may be obvious, there are more complex and perhaps more obscure impacts on the societies and cultures involved at both ends of the adoption process.

For those interested in international adoption, there are a number of resources available. First of all, it is advisable to first learn about domestic open adoption and explore domestic options before looking abroad. There can be certain risks associated with international adoption. That said, there are many children available in more than fifty countries, all of whom who are legally free for adoption and are in need of caring homes.

One good place to start on the journey toward adopting a child from abroad is the website Adoption.com. The site has a great number of resources to answer all questions adoption. They have a section of the site devoted solely to international adoption (http://international.adoption.com). The United States State Department also has some information about intercountry adoption available online (http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/adoption_485.html). This page clarifies the role that the U.S. government may be able to play in the adoption process, as well as providing phone numbers to call for more information on international adoption.

A final word: international adoption is a long process full of bureaucratic hurdles. It can be costly and may require prospective parents to reside in the country of the child’s origin for a period of time before the process is complete. Like all things that require effort, however, people who endure the process ultimately find it to be worthwhile.

Around the World in Five Adoptions

By Charles and Pam Dougherty

Some homeschooling families stand out because the kids all look amazingly alike. We stand out because we don’t. We are a family with five children from four different races with two very pale parents. Our homeschooling family is so distinctive through the miracle of adoption. Our kids are Jonathan (16), Matthew (13), Joy (12), Faith (10), and Hope (6).

Our first child, Matthew, was adopted as a newborn in the U.S., as was our next child, Faith. We thought our nest was full so we assumed we were done adopting. God challenged us with the desire (and resources) to adopt an infant from China. Pam took Matthew, then age eight, to China to get Hope. Hope had a hard time bonding with Mom at first, but she and Matthew developed a mutual admiration that lasts to this day. (Hope is now glued to Pam as well.) That trip opened our eyes to how many children need families.

The decisions to adopt our last three children were made with input from the whole family after lengthy discussions about capacity, relationships, personal needs, spiritual fruit, and eternal rewards. We have seen these discussions foster empathy in our children and expand their worldviews. About a year after going to China, we decided to adopt again—this time because there was a child who needed us.

We knew there were many baby girls in China to adopt, but we were surprised to discover that there were older boys who were seeking adoption as well. Few Americans want to adopt them, so many of these older boys simply wait indefinitely for a family of their own. God called us to adopt Jonathan, who was twelve and a full three years older than Matthew. Matthew and Pam traveled back to China and brought Jonathan home.

Just as every child has different needs, each adoptee has his own issues. Adopting a twelve-year-old from another culture, who didn’t speak the language, was challenging. It took about a year to feel like Jonathan had always been part of our family. We worked through many, many issues that first year. The homeschool can provide a customized academic program that is heavy on language study, in a nurturing environment, with an emphasis on Christ.

Many of our strongest friendships and favorite activities involve other homeschoolers. Their quick acceptance has provided ready friendship for all our children, regardless of how long they have been acquainted.

Homeschooling is wonderful for bringing the family together, and it was especially so for Jonathan. We were able to concentrate on teaching English and filling in the gaps in his math. The spectacular part was that we could show him what “family” is all about. Homeschooling allowed us to show him what it was like—all the time, and he really needed that investment of time and love.

We gave Jonathan a Chinese-English Bible soon after he arrived. Partially due to boredom and for lack of other options, he started reading. About a year later, he decided to follow Jesus. Since then, he has just amazed us by his spiritual growth. Not only was he starved for love, but he also was starved for a relationship with God. Now he truly has a passion to tell others about Jesus and to memorize God’s Word. He cares deeply about the many in China who have never heard of Jesus.

Jonathan’s transformation changed us too. We were incredibly struck by what an eternal difference adoption can make. Our family Scripture has become Matthew 6:20–21: “But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn also deeply moved us.

After four adoptions we felt the call to adopt once again, but we had run out of extra money. We started praying that God would provide the needed resources if this was really His call for our lives. The money, almost down to the dollar, appeared
unexpectedly, so we started the process once again.

In March 2007, we found a twelve-year-old Indian girl’s profile on an adoption website. Within two weeks we had the pre-approval to adopt her. We had considered a younger girl but felt God was calling us to adopt this one. In November Pam was able to travel to India to bring Joy home. She has been a welcome addition and blessing to our family. We were surprised to learn that she already had accepted Christ. We had no idea beforehand that God was putting a Christian girl in the Christian home she desperately wanted. She is now learning more about Him and what He means in her life.

While in India, Pam was encouraged to spend the day at the orphanage and meet the people who work there and the other children. That experience was unforgettable. The children were so friendly and eager for attention. Although they shed some tears as they said good-bye to Joy, they were truly happy for her and anticipated the day when they, too, would leave with a family of their own. Experiences like that stay with you forever.

While we have been challenged by some of the learning gaps of our older additions, they serve as a reminder that our true goal of homeschooling is to raise children who know that God loves them and has a special plan for each of them. While they still have squabbles, they have learned to get along amazingly well.
Each time we have adopted, the other children have been very enthusiastic and welcoming to each newcomer, and we are very proud of them. We enjoy the diversity of our family. It is fascinating to ponder what our family tree will look like in twenty years!

Charles and Pam Dougherty have been married for twenty years and live in Central New York with their five children and four cats. We would be delighted to encourage others to consider adoption. You can contact us at AdoptionCNY@verizon.net.

Copyright 2008. Originally appeared in The
Old Schoolhouse Magazine, Summer 2008.

Used with permission. Visit them at
www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com.
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